Wow! I cannot believe that I have not posted anything since March. Well, that just goes to show how badly my toll of "senior-itis" affected me!!! Anyway, since the last time I posted, many things have happened in my life. To start things off, I finished my Graduation/Senior Project, which took a lot of time, but I actually believe it was well-worth it, and I made a final score of a "100". Also, I feel the need to mention that I graduated high school, class of 2011, and to my own astonishment, I didn't cry. I guess I've done enough bragging for now, but I am actually quite proud of myself. Speaking of graduation, yes, it was very hard on me at first, and I'm not sure it's gotten much better, but even though I want things to go back to the way they were, I am also excited for what is to come in my life. Knowing that I'm growing up, trying to go out on my own, and embarking on four of the most amazing years of my life, not only scares me, makes me want to cry at times, and makes me want to be a little kid again, but it also excites me, encourages me, and gives me a hint of hope each time I think that I'm one step closer to becoming a teacher. Now, someone please explain to me how one thing can attack me with so many opposing emotions all in one single moment; it makes no sense to me, whatsoever!
Since I've graduated, and I'm starting college soon, I've been thinking about my future A LOT lately. It seems to me that teaching is the one thing in which I cannot wait for, constantly think about, and rely on to motivate me for everything to come. I know that it won't be some sort of fairytale or fantasy life; teaching will be hard work, and I'm going to be tested at times, but through it all, I know in my heart that it's not about me. It's about the young minds of the wonderful students, whose brains I will be filling with knowledge, passion for education, and a desire to learn. Sometimes, I sit back, thinking about my future students, classroom, etc., and I think about how I not only want to teach them English, but I also want to teach them about life as well. This past year, I had an all-around wonderful, lively, intelligent, and understanding teacher. There are so many things about her teaching style in which I would love to acquire one day, but I will never forget how, so many times, she would be teaching us the things we needed to know for her class, but without some of us even knowing it, she would also be teaching us about life. She showed me that just by being myself, opening up to others, and shining the light of God inside of me, I was being an inspiration, role model, and leader in a classroom full of younger students. During my time in this teacher's classroom, she also showed me that, in some ways, I have the power to change the course or direction of someone's life. I want to be this kind of teacher one day. I want my servant's heart, my love of encouragement through writing, and my love for teaching to be the light in my students' lives, so that I will not only be teaching them the things they will need to know for my class, but somehow, without them even realizing it, I want to be a spark in their lives, teaching them understanding about life, how much potential each and every one of them have, and through it all, I want that spark to ignite inside each of them, creating a massive flame, which no one can willfully or forcefully stop or alter.
I know that I probably sound insane or crazy. I mean, I'm not even in college yet, and I have years ahead of me before I become a teacher, but I can't control it. I love how even on the most difficult of days, the days in which I am more afraid of my future than anything, the thought of becoming an English teacher, renews my self-confidence, giving me the strength and courage to keep on persuing my dreams and aspirations. One of my all-time favorite quotes is by a woman named Patricia Neal. She says, "A master can tell you what he expects of you. A teacher, though, awakens your own expectations". I believe that because of the teachers I've had, who have lived out this quote, I became the person I am today. God puts so many people in our lives, and we either have the chance to ignore them or embrace them with open arms. For me, no matter what anyone says or believes, a few of my teachers were the biggests parts of my life all through high school, they gave me hope, believed in me, and like the teacher I was talking about earlier, they taught me things about myself in which I had never even known before. If it weren't for these few teachers reaching out to me, awakening my own expectations, and helping to "feed" my passion for teaching, I may not have become the same person I am right now, and it is my goal in life to obtain certain traits from each and every one of these teachers, but to also tell my future students about them and how they changed my life, hoping that I can do the same in theirs.
